Mom's Corner

A mother is born. Becoming a mom means redefining yourself. The old you is forever gone and the new you is yet to transpire and like your child is in early infancy. The change in identity is profound and the question "who am I now that I am a mother" is for a while your new companion. Time is needed to reflect and consciously integrate these new changes, time that a new mom usually has very little of now that she lives in a climate of perpetual interruption. It is essential to gather new tools and revisit your needs and priorities.

"Peace of mind is not a rare and exotic flower that only blooms on deserted islands or on top of mountains. You don't have to travel far and wide to find it. Relaxation is actually a native plant that grows in your own backyard—a hardy one at that."     Veronique Vienne

Mothers are notorious for being caregivers who do for others and often put their own needs to the background. It is important to learn how to take care of yourself as well as you take care of everyone else. Your needs are important! As a new mom it is so easy to feel frazzled and out of touch with your deeper needs. So having simple tools that help you to connect with your mind, body and spirit are essential. A mother's work is truly the most valuable work on the planet. So value what you do and take good care of yourself while you're doing it. Develop the same fierce and tender concern for yourself that you have for you child and become the Queen of finding little moments to relax and come back to yourself. A happier mom makes for a happier family.

Take Care and Nurture your Mind and Emotions

"Be kinder to yourself than you think you should be."      Cheri Huber

The cultivation of self-knowledge is essential for happiness. Watch your thoughts and self-talk and keep an eye out for negative criticism and put downs. Learn to challenge them and replace them with positive, useful and friendly self-talk. Journaling is a great way to explore and express yourself. Creating a moment alone with your thoughts to vent, reflect or explore keeps the creative flow open. It is often helpful to make a list of ten things you can do to connect with yourself so that when you are given the opportunity you know exactly what you need or want to do. These needs and wants are often as simple as taking a walk or calling an old friend but it is easy to give them up for the "pressing" needs of others. Ask yourself what are the things in your life that support harmony, balance, inspiration and well-being? Learn to ask for help and support and become a vocal advocate for your needs.

This page and the relaxation exercise were contributed by Marriage, Family Therapist Ann Whittington, who specializes in Women's Issues and resides in Santa Cruz County, California.

The Following Links: Relaxation: The Heart of Self-Nurturing and The Healing Power of Pampering have useful tools (relaxation exercises and aromatherapy home recipes) to help you deepen your ability to nurture yourself.